“You can never build a bridge (to understanding) until you get rid of all of the walls.” Chapman & Campbell, The Five Love Languages of Children We often get angry because we (the mentally ill) just don’t understand what the hell is going on with us. It’s confusing. It’s scary. It’s produces fear. Fear produces anger. […]
bipolar disorder 2
Finding the Beauty in Bipolar
Months ago when I was diagnosed as Bipolar 2 my world fell apart. Looking back now I would have laughed and slapped the person that posted the quote below from tiny buddha . You have to first understand that me being diagnosed with an incurable illness of the brain was like a beauty queen being told she […]
Forgiveness : Today is a New Day
Guilt, shame, hurt, forgiveness. This morning I had a “manic rage” happen in the car while driving with Julia. We were late for school. I began to feel guilty. I fear I’m caught up in a pattern of rage and anger. I began to feel everyone would judge me for having her tardy for a […]
Lying in the Hands of God
I can’t help but think God sent this song my way one day when I was asking for direction. Still a bit unstable on the ground I was standing with God, while driving home I was reassured – He’s got this. Just continue to love and share that love and he will always be here […]
A Return To Love : My Backstory
Having a “nervous breakdown” makes you stop. Being a Type A personality for 36 years of my life makes it very difficult to just STOP and let it all go. Let Go and Let God. That’s what they say but that is a very difficult term for a former control freak like me. However after […]
A Letter To My Husband
I sit alone and watch the clock, Trying to collect my thoughts, All I think about is you. And so I cry myself to sleep, And hope the devil I don’t meet. In the dreams that I live through. Believe in me, I know you’ve waited for so long, Believe in me, sometimes the weak […]
An Education in Bipolar
I am Bipolar 2 with a social anxiety disorder. This means a series of emotions can rage through me within an hour. I can be on top of the world at 9:05 and by 10:05 I can be balled up crying surrounded by broken dishes and broken relationships. I can be hugging my husband at […]
Beauty Grows In the Darkest Places
About six months ago I realized my mind had changed. My mind – not just my brain – but my mind. I was diagnosed with a mental/mood disorder and my world crumbled. Telling me my brain was not working correctly is like telling a beauty queen they need Botox. My husband always says he married me […]
Mental Illness : Living In the Dark
I started this blog to help others who are going through something similar and just like what I am going through. I wanted to bring light to the dark. My business page has 2000 followers (not a lot in FB terms but thats 2000 sets of eyes and ears). Yet part of me is still […]
The Panic Attack
They call it a panic attack. That is such an overused set of words today. You can hear the phrase tossed around in conversation like an upset stomach. Panic attacks are painful. Panic attacks are exhausting. Panic attacks are heart wrenching. Panic attacks evoke a fear within that….the words are not there. The world goes black. […]