The smell of sweet honeysuckle dancing under your nose to announce the arrival of spring. The feeling of air under your toes as your boots embrace the powdery snow. The velvety feel of fine watercolor paper between your fingers. I loved loved loved photography when I stumbled into portrait photography almost seven years ago. I loved putting the camera down […]
Bag of Bones
Every time I open my eyes You – the monster are there Banging at the wall of shame That I hide behind in fear. I’m a scared little girl Praying for someone to save me From you – the monster No one ever comes and you continue To take more from me than even I can […]
She Started Loving Him Today
I have been married 2724 days 19 hours and 40 minutes. I have only loved my husband I mean truly loved him for 46 days 16 hours 40 minutes. I didn’t start really loving my husband until November 11, 2015. I remember the day like it was yesterday and hope that until the day I die […]
Music Monday: She Used to Be Mine
“Harmony sinks deep into the recesses of the soul and takes its strongest hold there, bringing grace also to the body & mind as well. Music is a moral law. It gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, a charm to sadness, and life to everything. It is […]
A Depression Confession
It’s hard the days depression hits. Bipolar depression throws a person for a loop. You have to adjust. Life downshifts for the mountain you are about to climb. You were just racing down a flat road the day before with wind in your hair and a smile on your face. Slowly you start to think you […]
Counting Blessings
We all say our blessings at Thanksgiving – I’m thankful for my family, friends, house, food, insert noun here. Often times I feel it’s on repeat at dinners and holiday parties. Not to discount what anyone is saying because I have been that person and was totally okay with that answer. However the one thing I have […]
Miracle #2: Discovering God Is In Me
In the past six months I have come to learn that God is love. God is in me. I am filled with love. God is not angry. God is not bitter. God is not spiteful. God does not send his wrath to Earth to punish his children. We are his creations. His children. He has given us […]
22 Days of Mania
After weeks of depression I welcomed Mania today. Now how long Mania stays – who knows. I could wake up depressed again tomorrow but today I’ve got this. I just have to be very mindful of my actions today. Day 2 of Mania. If you aren’t Bipolar you have no idea what I’m so excited […]
Fireworks In Mommy’s Head
“You can never build a bridge (to understanding) until you get rid of all of the walls.” Chapman & Campbell, The Five Love Languages of Children We often get angry because we (the mentally ill) just don’t understand what the hell is going on with us. It’s confusing. It’s scary. It’s produces fear. Fear produces anger. […]
Finding the Beauty in Bipolar
Months ago when I was diagnosed as Bipolar 2 my world fell apart. Looking back now I would have laughed and slapped the person that posted the quote below from tiny buddha . You have to first understand that me being diagnosed with an incurable illness of the brain was like a beauty queen being told she […]