Submit I must let her rescue meGo with herFall into herI will. She is weakYet I am weakerHer words flow deep With my wings clenched in her fist. Should I trust her liesIt’s all in your headCome with me she saysI will carry your burden. You are strongEchoes from the pastFight damn it It’s a […]
mental illness
A Day of Anxiety
I wrote this post on May 14, 2018 but didn’t post it. I do this often. Write posts about the darkness but keep them to myself. That’s what people with depression often do – keep it to themselves when they need to share it to have support to get through the darkness. Others often carry […]
A Journey with Depression
Depression is real. It is not a crutch people lean on when they are sad. She is a bitch and very real. She’s a seed that slowly finds her way deep within you. She finds pain to feed her need to grow. She pulls that pain in and inside her branches of self hatred rip […]
A Depression Confession
It’s hard the days depression hits. Bipolar depression throws a person for a loop. You have to adjust. Life downshifts for the mountain you are about to climb. You were just racing down a flat road the day before with wind in your hair and a smile on your face. Slowly you start to think you […]
22 Days of Mania
After weeks of depression I welcomed Mania today. Now how long Mania stays – who knows. I could wake up depressed again tomorrow but today I’ve got this. I just have to be very mindful of my actions today. Day 2 of Mania. If you aren’t Bipolar you have no idea what I’m so excited […]
Fireworks In Mommy’s Head
“You can never build a bridge (to understanding) until you get rid of all of the walls.” Chapman & Campbell, The Five Love Languages of Children We often get angry because we (the mentally ill) just don’t understand what the hell is going on with us. It’s confusing. It’s scary. It’s produces fear. Fear produces anger. […]
Lying in the Hands of God
I can’t help but think God sent this song my way one day when I was asking for direction. Still a bit unstable on the ground I was standing with God, while driving home I was reassured – He’s got this. Just continue to love and share that love and he will always be here […]
A Letter To My Husband
I sit alone and watch the clock, Trying to collect my thoughts, All I think about is you. And so I cry myself to sleep, And hope the devil I don’t meet. In the dreams that I live through. Believe in me, I know you’ve waited for so long, Believe in me, sometimes the weak […]
Beauty Grows In the Darkest Places
About six months ago I realized my mind had changed. My mind – not just my brain – but my mind. I was diagnosed with a mental/mood disorder and my world crumbled. Telling me my brain was not working correctly is like telling a beauty queen they need Botox. My husband always says he married me […]
The Panic Attack
They call it a panic attack. That is such an overused set of words today. You can hear the phrase tossed around in conversation like an upset stomach. Panic attacks are painful. Panic attacks are exhausting. Panic attacks are heart wrenching. Panic attacks evoke a fear within that….the words are not there. The world goes black. […]