I won’t lie. Staying in the light is difficult for me. I’ve held it too which is good and bad. It makes me want to fight for it and give up whatever I need to give up. However it also scares the hell out of you to know the light is slipping. The peace. The […]
depression
Mother Earth
Sometimes I miss the voicesBecause they made me feel not aloneWhen the reality of people Was too much to take on. I will lie here in the dirtAnd feel Mother Earth’s embraceI will one day standFor now though I will lay. ____________________________ Going through all of my journals for my memoir I’ve been stumbling on […]
A Day of Anxiety
I wrote this post on May 14, 2018 but didn’t post it. I do this often. Write posts about the darkness but keep them to myself. That’s what people with depression often do – keep it to themselves when they need to share it to have support to get through the darkness. Others often carry […]
Music Monday: Brain Damage
The lunatic is in my head The lunatic is in my head You raise the blade, You make the change You rearrange me ’til I’m sane You lock the door And throw away the key There’s someone in my head but it’s not me -Pink Floyd. “Brain Damage” There are two women that live inside […]
Music Monday: Demons
When I first heard this song this song last week I was in the car with my daughters. I immediately felt the tears began to well up in my eyes. They see me cry often however I didn’t not want them to think of me that way at school. I quickly turned the station. During […]
Exercise and Mental Illness Make A Great Pair
The Exercise Effect Evidence is mounting for the benefits of exercise, yet psychologists don’t often use exercise as part of their treatment arsenal. Here’s more research on why they should. By Kirsten Weir When Jennifer Carter, PhD, counsels patients, she often suggests they walk as they talk. “I work on a beautiful wooded campus,” […]
A Journey with Depression
Depression is real. It is not a crutch people lean on when they are sad. She is a bitch and very real. She’s a seed that slowly finds her way deep within you. She finds pain to feed her need to grow. She pulls that pain in and inside her branches of self hatred rip […]
When My Bipolar Gets The Best of Me
It’s days like today that I’m reminded that Bipolar is a stronger beast than I give it credit for at times. A morning of sudden anxiety and harsh tones in my every word. Leave dropoff thinking fourth graders are laughing at my car and Julia. Dreading each minute of a spin class I usually love then […]
Hell Defined
What happened to my generation is that we never grew up. The problem is we’re terrified. …in certain areas, we’re paralyzed. We’re not being stopped by something on the outside, but by something on the inside. We’re just afraid, period. Our fear is free-floating We’re just disgusted with ourselves, because we think we should be better by […]
Healing a {Bipolar} Marriage
I read a scary statistic about bipolar marriage. While reading an article on Bipolar Lives I was floored when I read the statistic: A common – but staggering – statistic that gets bandied about is that 90% of marriages involving at least one bipolar spouse will end in divorce. My heart literally began to race and a […]