Depression is real. It is not a crutch people lean on when they are sad. She is a bitch and very real. She’s a seed that slowly finds her way deep within you. She finds pain to feed her need to grow. She pulls that pain in and inside her branches of self hatred rip […]
clarity
God Speaks
“Relax, close your eyes, and pray for comfort. Give to Divine Mind your despair, your sadness, your hopelessness, your regret, your embarrassment, your pain, your grief, your fear, and your burdens. Do not rush through this darkness. Allow yourself to enter into it in order to move through it. And in time the light will […]
Walls Come Down and Peace Comes In
Excerpt from an October 2015 therapy session: Why are you angry? Because I’m scared and full of fear. What do you fear? That people won’t like me. Why? Because I’m not good enough. When those words echoed from my mouth I cried. I cried for days and when I finally told my husband this piece […]
Bag of Bones
Every time I open my eyes You – the monster are there Banging at the wall of shame That I hide behind in fear. I’m a scared little girl Praying for someone to save me From you – the monster No one ever comes and you continue To take more from me than even I can […]
She Started Loving Him Today
I have been married 2724 days 19 hours and 40 minutes. I have only loved my husband I mean truly loved him for 46 days 16 hours 40 minutes. I didn’t start really loving my husband until November 11, 2015. I remember the day like it was yesterday and hope that until the day I die […]
22 Days of Mania
After weeks of depression I welcomed Mania today. Now how long Mania stays – who knows. I could wake up depressed again tomorrow but today I’ve got this. I just have to be very mindful of my actions today. Day 2 of Mania. If you aren’t Bipolar you have no idea what I’m so excited […]
Fireworks In Mommy’s Head
“You can never build a bridge (to understanding) until you get rid of all of the walls.” Chapman & Campbell, The Five Love Languages of Children We often get angry because we (the mentally ill) just don’t understand what the hell is going on with us. It’s confusing. It’s scary. It’s produces fear. Fear produces anger. […]
Letting Go
“In the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself.” – Deepak Chopra Letting go of a career that I still love but have lost that creative passion for is tough – you have to look deep inside to understand why a passion has died. I’ve realized that […]
My 5 Points of Clarity
There is clarity in me today. I will become a stay at home mom. #homemaker That is exactly what I will be – a woman making our home the best it can be for my growing girls and my hardworking husband. I will replace my income with that of savings from me doing the job […]