The lunatic is in my head The lunatic is in my head You raise the blade, You make the change You rearrange me ’til I’m sane You lock the door And throw away the key There’s someone in my head but it’s not me -Pink Floyd. “Brain Damage” There are two women that live inside […]
emotional rollercoaster
A Journey with Depression
Depression is real. It is not a crutch people lean on when they are sad. She is a bitch and very real. She’s a seed that slowly finds her way deep within you. She finds pain to feed her need to grow. She pulls that pain in and inside her branches of self hatred rip […]
When My Bipolar Gets The Best of Me
It’s days like today that I’m reminded that Bipolar is a stronger beast than I give it credit for at times. A morning of sudden anxiety and harsh tones in my every word. Leave dropoff thinking fourth graders are laughing at my car and Julia. Dreading each minute of a spin class I usually love then […]
A Letter to Mary Jane
Dear Mary Jane, I wanted to take a minute to say thank you so much for being you. You are a blessing from God and I truly believe this. You help me cope when I’m feeling overwhelmed. After spending a few minutes together it doesn’t seem so bad. I can sort through the important and […]
A Depression Confession
It’s hard the days depression hits. Bipolar depression throws a person for a loop. You have to adjust. Life downshifts for the mountain you are about to climb. You were just racing down a flat road the day before with wind in your hair and a smile on your face. Slowly you start to think you […]
Miracle #2: Discovering God Is In Me
In the past six months I have come to learn that God is love. God is in me. I am filled with love. God is not angry. God is not bitter. God is not spiteful. God does not send his wrath to Earth to punish his children. We are his creations. His children. He has given us […]
Finding the Beauty in Bipolar
Months ago when I was diagnosed as Bipolar 2 my world fell apart. Looking back now I would have laughed and slapped the person that posted the quote below from tiny buddha . You have to first understand that me being diagnosed with an incurable illness of the brain was like a beauty queen being told she […]
Letting Go
“In the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself.” – Deepak Chopra Letting go of a career that I still love but have lost that creative passion for is tough – you have to look deep inside to understand why a passion has died. I’ve realized that […]
Lying in the Hands of God
I can’t help but think God sent this song my way one day when I was asking for direction. Still a bit unstable on the ground I was standing with God, while driving home I was reassured – He’s got this. Just continue to love and share that love and he will always be here […]
A Letter To My Husband
I sit alone and watch the clock, Trying to collect my thoughts, All I think about is you. And so I cry myself to sleep, And hope the devil I don’t meet. In the dreams that I live through. Believe in me, I know you’ve waited for so long, Believe in me, sometimes the weak […]