Anxiety is standing in the middle of a store with a buggy full of items questioning whether to check out or leave the buggy and head for the store (abandon the cart and walk out the door) for 10 min.
Anxiety is constant guilt over being a mother and thinking you are always screwing up.
Anxiety is locking yourself in your closet in the dark.
Anxiety is having to take a medication that basically slows you down to the point you just sleep your day away.
Anxiety moves fast and pushes to live in the future worrying about what may or may not real.
Anxiety is your reality.
Anxiety is your business closing because you can no longer make it to work.
Anxiety is missing moments in your kids life because you can’t fathom being surrounded by a group of people you don’t know.
Anxiety is knowing you need to be somewhere in 10 minutes but can’t pull it together to pull out of the driveway.
Anxiety is biting off all of your nails at once because you have to be somewhere social in 5 hours.
Anxiety is profusely sweating at the thought of meeting someone new.
Anxiety is praying for rain when you have to meet someone outside for a photoshoot.
Anxiety is being stuck in a chair unable to get up because your brain can’t decide what to do next.
Anxiety is arguing with your husband because you are too overwhelmed to meet his friend’s wives.
Anxiety is picking your kids up late because you sat in your car in the driveway unable to back out because you’re pulled in two directions.
Anxiety is loosing your friend group because they don’t understand why you cancel all the time.
I served my time behind the bars of anxiety. Anxiety sucks! It’s unfair and so misunderstood. There is no get over it. No one wants to watch their life wither away because it is being starved of what humans need. It’s a war in one’s head. I always describe it for me as the world is turning either slow or fast when I’m turning the opposite in the middle of the storm – hence Dancing in a Hurricane. When I’m dancing the anxiety is absent and oh how beautiful I can dance.
To view more of my work showing mental illness as well as the journey of a woman click here.