Having a “nervous breakdown” makes you stop. Being a Type A personality for 36 years of my life makes it very difficult to just STOP and let it all go. Let Go and Let God. That’s what they say but that is a very difficult term for a former control freak like me. However after […]
Month: September 2015
A Letter To My Husband
I sit alone and watch the clock, Trying to collect my thoughts, All I think about is you. And so I cry myself to sleep, And hope the devil I don’t meet. In the dreams that I live through. Believe in me, I know you’ve waited for so long, Believe in me, sometimes the weak […]
An Education in Bipolar
I am Bipolar 2 with a social anxiety disorder. This means a series of emotions can rage through me within an hour. I can be on top of the world at 9:05 and by 10:05 I can be balled up crying surrounded by broken dishes and broken relationships. I can be hugging my husband at […]
Beauty Grows In the Darkest Places
About six months ago I realized my mind had changed. My mind – not just my brain – but my mind. I was diagnosed with a mental/mood disorder and my world crumbled. Telling me my brain was not working correctly is like telling a beauty queen they need Botox. My husband always says he married me […]
Mental Illness : Living In the Dark
I started this blog to help others who are going through something similar and just like what I am going through. I wanted to bring light to the dark. My business page has 2000 followers (not a lot in FB terms but thats 2000 sets of eyes and ears). Yet part of me is still […]
The Panic Attack
They call it a panic attack. That is such an overused set of words today. You can hear the phrase tossed around in conversation like an upset stomach. Panic attacks are painful. Panic attacks are exhausting. Panic attacks are heart wrenching. Panic attacks evoke a fear within that….the words are not there. The world goes black. […]
Laundry
What is it about this love | hate relationship with laundry? I despise laundry (to the point I often pay someone to do it for me) but there is something about it that makes your subconscious love it. I have a loud mind. It screams often and I want to just escape it. My conscious mind […]
The Dark Places
What is it that torments my mind and soul It creeps in when least expected Surrounds my heart, crushes my soul, darkens my light. A dark angel trapped by the light for so long Now emerges to hurt those I love To take from me what I took from it. Why must there always be […]
Line in the Dirt
6/9/15 Being diagnosed Bipolar II will bring a blow to you. At first comes denial. It’s impossible for you. You have such a strong mind. It will make you cry. It will make you feel. It’s a line in your life…Drawn straight between before and after the diagnosis. It’s a very deep line. My life will never be the same but is that a bad thing? –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 9/2/15 […]